Anyone who believes in the Son of God has this testimony in his heart. Anyone who does not believe God has made him out to be a liar, because he has not believed the testimony God has given about his Son. And this is the testimony: God has given us eternal life, and this life is in his Son. He who has the Son has life; he who does not have the Son of God does not have life. I write these things to you who believe in the name of the Son of God so that you may know that you have eternal life. (1 John 5:10-13)
Do I believe? Of course I do! Do I know? Again, of course I do! I am not that talented a writer. Do I sometimes doubt? Yes, I do! We all do, it's human nature to doubt ourselves. I sometimes have an image of standing before the gates of heaven waiting on the Lord and I abruptly hear "nope, sorry, don't know ya". And, if you hear the words "if there's one here who's not sure" enough, eventually you may just think to yourself - "is that message directed at me?" Our own insecurities tend to get in the way sometimes, especially if every promise ever made to you has been broken.
When you walk in the ways of the Lord, you leave Satan very little to tempt you with. I'm learning that. When I put my foot down and say "no, not gonna happen because that's not me anymore", Satan has to become a little more creative. He has to attack the very thing that keeps him from successfully distracting me - the knowledge that I am included in that promise of eternal life! The question that arises is "but what if I'm not REALLY saved?"
After mulling it around and bouncing it off of a couple of friends one night, God smacked me in the back of the head. It's not about the work I do, it's not about the contributions I make, it not even about the life I lead (though, that has become more pleasing to God than it ever was). It's not about anything I do - it's about what he did! He sent his son, Jesus, to pave the way for me. He is the way I get there, nothing I ever do will be good enough. It can't be - if it were that easy, he would not have had to be nailed to that tree. Like clicking the "delete" button in the little pop-up window that says "are you sure you want to delete this", my sins are gone for good. All of this is possible because of Jesus.
The blood of my risen Savior, Jesus, deletes all my sins. Gone, without a trace. I am clean and ready to be presented to God. I have no doubts that Jesus came to save me, I never did. The doubts I have come from a human thought process and from continually hearing the words "not good enough" throughout my life. Having to re-program my thinking to excluded the promise of salvation in that thread is sometimes challenging, but not impossible. When my thoughts drift to that area, it doesn't mean I'm not saved, it just means I'm human (and that the enemy is hard at work). God will always find a way to remind me that I'm his! We all want to know for a fact, beyond a shadow of a doubt, with the utmost in confirmation, that we are, in fact, HIS, that his promises are true and that he's not going to change his mind. John gives us that confirmation in these verses. We are the "you who believe in the name of the Son of God so that you may know that you have eternal life!" Our sins may be deleted, but the promise stands for all time!