(photo by Celia Darrigo)
And I said, What shall I do, Lord? And the Lord said unto me, Arise, and go into Damascus; and there it shall be told thee of all things which are appointed for thee to do. (Acts 22:10)
"Okay, Lord, now what???" These were the words uttered l when I found that my income had been reduced to nothing once again. I wanted to shout to the heavens that I had done everything He's asked of me and now I'm in worse shape than I was two months before. I wanted to tell Him that I don't feel His presence like I used to. I wanted to tell Him that I'm afraid. I wanted to scream at Him for allowing all the things that have happened in my life to happen. I wanted all the suffering to end and to just be done with all of this. But God has a way of making your see with your soul what you cannot see with your heart, your mind or your eyes. He does whisper in sweet, soft tones and reassures you that everything will be just fine if you trust in Him.
My response to that whisper was very simple: I trust in you, Lord, it's the people around me that don't have that same level of trust in you, nor do they think for a minute that you can and will provide for me. I have to deal with them on a daily basis and it's getting tough. I know I am where you want me to be, but right now I don't know what to do...PRAY!!!
The very essence of our faith lies in the belief that everything will work according to His plan. When we give ourselves over to Him, do what He asks us to do, will He not see that we are cared for??? Will He not wrap His heavenly arms around us and protect us from the earthly enemies that seek to destroy us? Will He not make our seemingly horrific situations a testimony to His good works? Will He not preserve us as we wander around in the furnace???
I laughed to myself when I remembered that some months back a friend and I were talking about "faith". My comment to her was "I want faith like Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego." In Daniel 3:26, their faith protected them from the fires of the furnace and they walked out unharmed - they didn't even smell like smoke! My desire was to have faith like that!!! Well, in order to have faith like that, one must endure similar situations and not "cave" under pressure.
I am not now, nor will I ever be, a "perfect" worshipper. I don't always take the time to sit and offer Him the praises He deserves. I make excuses for my short comings some days, I ask forgiveness for them and begin again. What I don't do is walk away. There have been moments over the past year that I have been angry with God, disappointed, I've felt rejected and left alone. I will even go so far as to say there were moments of hate directed towards Him as a result of certain situations I found myself in. But no matter how miserable life on earth got, God never left my side and continued to whisper those words I've become so familiar with..."I am here - you are MINE".
Whatever you face, you do not face it alone. Reach out the Lord of heaven and earth and entrust your soul to Him. Hand over your problems and your worries. He'll shine them up and hand them back to you so that you can see what needs to be done, if anything does, in fact, need to be done. He will offer you the solutions you need if you're listening. They may not be the ones you were hoping for, but they will be the ones that are right for you. Trust in Him, have faith in Him - listen...