Monday, September 19, 2011
~ "For the wives..."
Wives, in the same way be submissive to your husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives. (1 Peter 3:1-2)
Well, I know a few of you wives are going to have a problem with this posting. If you truly want to walk the path of righteousness, you will need to learn that although society see you as "liberated" and "equal" - God still calls you to be submissive. That was one thing I refused to accept (thus, part of the reason why I am divorced - yes, there were other reasons). My behavior was NOT reflective of what a good wife should be. Take a lesson from my book. When God is not first, when He is not the center of your marriage, it will fail.
Knowing the word of God and living it is an example that cannot be discounted. My only regret is that I did not come to know God as I do now before my marriage ended. There were problems that could have been overcome, there were issues that could have been avoided. No, I do not take responsibilities for the issues that led to my divorce...we both contributed to that. I will say that had not made excuses for the issues that ensued and had I invited Jesus into our marriage early on, it would not have ended. The statement I make when people ask me about my ex is very simple - I have never stopped loving him, I still love him - I just couldn't live with him any more. Our life had become a nightmare - through the fault of both of us. We no longer communicated and both fought to be in control. I suppose there were issues I knew would be "issues" from the very beginning (from those pre-marital meetings with the Pastor). I never assumed they would work themselves out, I just ignored them. They were there, eating away for twenty years. Being submissive to your husband is not slavery. It is a respect afforded him through the bond of marriage.
If you must be the example - then be the example! You may be better "equipped" to serve as the head of the household, but it is not your place! If your husband will not relinquish his role, you should not stomp your foot and be angry. It is his God-given privilege. He may pass some of those responsibilities off to you, knowing that you may perform better in those areas than he will. Continue, regardless, to be an example of Christ's love and be obedient to God's word (yes, I know they took the word "obey" out of the marriage vows - it should have been left in there, it was there for a reason). Start each day with loving words towards one another, set the example (if there is none) - set the bar high! Pray together (and not just at church on Sunday mornings or a memorized dinner prayer) - invite Jesus into your marriage, into your life! Make Him the center!!!
"That's easy for you to say, you aren't married to the man I'm married to". No, I'm not - nor were you married to mine. If I had the opportunity to do anything differently in my marriage, it would be just that - to bring Jesus into it - front and center! I don't doubt that with Christ as the focus (and not the bills, and the house and a new car or a remodel, or any of the other hundreds of things we put first) we would still be married and living the "happily ever after" scenario. It's not about you! It's about serving God! It's about following His commands and reflecting the love of Jesus in your marriage. You made a decision "for better or for worse" - regardless!
If you've made every effort, if you've followed the word of God throughout your marriage, if you've made every attempt to allow the Lord to guide and still make no headway, if all the prayers you've prayed have gone unanswered, if you are continually neglected and abused (be it verbally, emotionally or physically), then, perhaps the Lord HAS answered your prayer - maybe it is time to walk away...but not until you have exhausted every avenue of hope! You will know, God will show you. If you haven't - then start now! Make the effort, follow His word, allow Him in and pray! If you are hesitating in any way, there may still be a blessing to be bestowed upon your marriage. Submit and be still! Accept your place and honor the God who created you. Be the example Christ calls you to be! Win them over by your example...