Thursday, October 16, 2014

~ "Looking back..."

"As for God, his way is perfect: the word of the Lord is tried: he is a buckler to all those that trust in him." (Ps 18:30)

Once again, we see that God is always faithful. We, however, are not.  His promises are reliable.  He is our shield and we can take refuge in him.  He, alone, always has our best interest foremost in his gifts and blessings.

I often wonder what the last 8 years of my life might have been like had I not listened to the voice that told me it was time to move on.  I doubt, on occasion, that it was truly the Lord's voice I heard. In the very rarest moments, my thoughts go to punishment for leaving my marriage and children.  Then I remember why.

The further we get from trauma, from disappointment, from pain - the less we remember of it.  We begin to forget the intensity of that pain, the depth of the disappointment.  We remember only the good, the positive, and the joy.  That is our heart trying to heal.   It's not until we experience similar pain that the memories flood our mind.  Like the death of a parent, or grandparent, the pain wains from desperation to acceptance.  It's still there, but it has evolved.  Somethings are best when they evolve, but others should remain ever present in our minds.

Doubting our choices after they are made causes us to relive the pain of making them.  Did we do the right thing?  Whatever we've decided, God remains faithful.  He love remains as strong as it did the day we stepped off the curb and into the street.  He will provide comfort and shelter for us in our most stressful experiences, he will continue to bless us, he will continue to love us.  Once we have made a decision, his plan for us remains intact.  He knew before we were born what decisions we would make in any given situation.  He saw it and it became part of his plan.  Everything we experience has passed through him - we are protected, shielded and loved by our faithful Creator.  It's okay to walk forward and not look back wondering what life might have been like, because life is never behind us, but always ahead of us.