Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows. (James 1:17)
I think perhaps that some things in my life are there just to remind me that I am not perfect, do not always make wise decisions and cause me to remember that His will be the final word. Yes, things could be a lot worse in my life. He reminds me that some things weren't worth the energy I put forth in praying for them, that He has a better plan for me and sometimes we require things to become "absent" from our lives before we realize how truly blessed we are. Such is the case with me.
Praying for God to return a "gift" once given, simply because I thought that was what HE wanted (and what I thought I wanted) some years back, allowed me to see exactly what it was I was praying for. I was asking Him to return my suffering and my pain - the same suffering and pain He rescued me from simply because others said it was the right thing for me to do. When you are new to walking with the Lord, you often ask for assistance from those who have walked a bit longer. Their advice is not always in line with what God wants for you. Only you will know if it's right. We pray, we wait, we pray...
In that time of waiting, the Lord is preparing us, molding us into the fighter we need to be, the lover he wants us to be, and the saint we have to be in order to accept whatever it is that comes our way. The shining example (although still a sinner) of his love and grace does not happen over night. It takes time. It takes practice. It takes faith! And still, even when we think we have reached the place that we need to be, God's timing is not our timing and in that, we must continue remain patient and faithful to His word and his commands. Sometimes He needs to remind us of these things.
Whatever path we are on - be it by His leading or our insistence, we will ultimately reach our destination. He is God - He could rearrange the stars if he chose to! There is nothing that He cannot or will not do for you when you walk in His ways. And occasionally, we need a shove to get us started again when we've been standing still. Satan so loves it when we get tired of being patient. It's an opportunity for him to step in diminish our hopes. Stand firm on God's promises to you! Stand firm in His Word! His love for you does not change - but your perspective may! Hold on to the faith you had when you first started your journey and His love will shine on you as it always has - it really never left you, you were just too busy to look up and see the light surrounding you!