Keep your heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life. (Prov 4:23)
If we knew the lasting effects of some of our actions, maybe we would think twice about the choices we make. I know that I would have. We sometimes become so lost that we have no clue if we are even moving, let alone what direction we are headed in. Sometimes we can suffer for many years with a guilty conscience, and even when we relieve it, some of its effects will remain in us forever. Once you've committed the act, you cannot undo it - there is no "Edit" tab in life.
One of the most devastating sins a person can commit, one that will destroy more lives than you could imagine - is adultery. People think that only the "offended spouses" are affected. Not so. The destruction spreads out like the ripples on a pond that has had a pebble thrown into the middle. And when the ripple reaches the shore, it returns toward the center again. The people we hurt begin with our spouse and the spouse of other. The ripples reach down to our children, grandchildren, out to our in-laws and their children, to our siblings and their children, to our friends and their families, to our acquaintances and anyone else we may come in contact with in our immediate lives. Many relationships can be destroyed by one, single encounter. Think I'm exaggerating? Think again!
"Love" is a learned response. Affairs don't "just happen". "Forgiveness" comes when we are truly sorry for our sins and make an effort not to continue to commit that sin again. Adultery is a conscious decision to sin against God and his law. It is a total and willful disregard for his command to us. We use the excuse "I'm not happy" or "my spouse doesn't understand me" or "I just don't love him/her anymore". If you aren't happy in your marriage - maybe you need to discuss that with your spouse, not the guy at the water cooler or the girl in the check out line. Many of us have been misinformed about "being happy". We aren't here to be happy. We are here waiting to for our time to die so that we can claim our inheritance (which for some, the way they live, is gonna be a little on the warm side). Many of us are selfish and greedy and want more and more. Your focus needs to be on God, on where you are headed at the end of your life, not the pleasures of the "moment" - and it is just that - a moment. Life is over in the blink of an eye and eternity lasts forever. If you aren't happy where you are and with whom you've chosen as a partner, either pray to God for strength to fix it or for the strength to walk away. There are certain situations that are acceptable reasons for divorce (abuse, neglect, and adultery from the other spouse - not you). It's all written down in easy to understand instructions - but you won't find them if you don't read your Bible.
When your car breaks down, you don't throw it away and buy a new one - you fix it. When your marriage is breaking down - you find a way to fix it, not a way to justify your affair. And if you've been married five or six times and they all end up in divorce, maybe you need to look at the common denominator ~ you!
Put your faith in God, allow him to guide your path, and pray for strength to endure. It's how he wants it and he gets to make the rules! There are no small sins or big sins - there are just sins! Ask for forgiveness and start to make the effort to lead a Godly life...