Sunday, October 24, 2010

~ "There will be a day..."

Repent you therefore, and be converted, that your sins may be blotted out, when the times of refreshing shall come from the presence of the Lord. (Acts 3:19)

Most of the time, when I hear that alarm clock, I am not "refreshed". I have learned not to hit that "snooze" button and take an extra 9 minutes. I have also gotten beyond the point of picking the thing up and slamming it against the wall. I have matured, accepted the fates of my life that required me to crawl out of bed and start another day.

I have found that everyday I can be "refreshed" in Jesus! His love for me continually lessens my pain, my fear, my burdens! Knowing that there is a design I'm not aware of that will all make sense to me in the end, gives me the courage to start another adventure with him at my side. Even if I'm hesitant and not quite sure of the steps I am taking, he gently nudges me a little more forward. Somedays I do retreat and say "no, I'm not doing this" or "no, I can't do this" and he reminds me that I can. Somedays it's not what I want to do, it's not the answer I'm looking for - he reminds me that it is what he wants me to do.

I'm learning not to argue with him - I never win. I no longer stomp my foot on the floor like the spoiled three-year old and say "no". I know he has my best interest at heart even when I don't think so. He has great plans for me! His work in me is not done yet. I have seen the full measure of his love for me, evidenced by the fact that I sit here and type this note. Had I continued on the path I was on, one thing is certain - I would not be here. Looking back at what my life might have been like had I stayed married is not a journey I care to take anymore. I know where the road would have ended. I'd like to think that things could have worked out, but the reality is that they wouldn't have. I no longer look at my divorce as my own personal failure. It took two people to bring my marriage to ruin - not just me, not just him. It was a combination of two lives that had ceased to be one. In all honesty, I'm not sure we ever were "one".

God has very specific plans for each of us. He designed them long before we were born and knows each step we've ever taken and those that are to come. At our asking, he walks beside us. If we're cautious, we will not fall (we may stumble, though). The bumps in the road remind us we are not perfect and that one day everything will change. There will be a day when all of this is gone and we will see Jesus face to face! The mistakes we make, the sins we commit, are washed away in the blood of the Savior. He is constantly forgiving all of our shortcomings. His compassion for us is unfathomable! He fights our demons and pours light on us that is so bright that even the dust that surrounds us shines! Soak it up, take it in and shine it back on him! He will come for us, because he said so!

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