Friday, October 22, 2010
~ The affair..."
For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord. (Rom 8:38-39)
I have a confession to make. I am in love with a wonderful man! He's not your ordinary, run-of-the-mill kind of guy. He is very strong and fearless. He came into my life many years ago and I just kept pushing him away. He wasn't exactly what I was looking for. He was persistent. Although I was not interested in him, he wanted me in the worst way. He continued to give me gifts even though I rejected his love and advice. Every time I needed something - there he was! He wasn't annoying, if that's what you're thinking - just very subtle.
I would see him occasionally, secretly, so as not to alert my friends. I was embarrassed to tell anyone how I truly felt about this man. I was afraid they would laugh or tell me I was weird. I still could not bring myself to admit to anyone how deep my feelings for him were. I couldn't admit them to him either. I do think he's always known and that's why he continued to pursue me. I guess he was just waiting for the right moment in my life.
A little over three years ago, I left everything I had and knew in my life. I wasn't running from him, though. In all honesty, I think I was running from what I had become. He had helped me get out of my marriage but when I couldn't find a new home that he approved of, I headed south in a motorhome. I settled here, in Tennessee, and he followed me. He continually took care of the little things in my life that I was unable to take care of. He made sure that I had a place to live, enough food to eat and enough money to survive. When things would get really bad, I'd call on this man, and he'd help me. He eventually found a way to invite me to visit his house. I didn't see any of the beautiful, ornate items I'd seen in his old house. It was very plain and sparsely decorated. He began to show me, as opposed to telling me, how much he truly loved me.
I don't know when I fell in love with this man, I don't know when he first reached in and grabbed a hold of my heart and said "you are mine", but his love has captivated me and I am his! This man's love is greater than any that I've ever known, greater than the love of any child I've ever held in my arms, greater than any possession I could ever hope to acquire. He's done more for me than any other man ever could or ever would. He puts up with my attitude and my sometimes ranting and raving like a mad woman. He's listened to me scream at him when I'm in pain, he's wiped the tears of sorrow from my face. There is nothing he wouldn't do for me.
I'm no longer embarrassed to call him "mine", I do not apologize to anyone for what he's asked me to do. He will continue to take good care of me for the rest of my life on this planet. And when I take my last breath here, he will take my hand and walk me into paradise. He will show me the scars on the hands that have so lovingly held me, I will look fondly into the eyes that have loved me since before I was born, and I will spend eternity this man, who, unlike any other man I've ever known, thought I was worth dying for! He's always looking for someone to love and take care of the way he takes care of me - give him a call - his name is Jesus!
(Photo by Robert Darrigo)