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| Pop, Nana (and Cookie), Mom (and Cindy), and Me 1963 |
My life has not been an easy one. It has been filled with heart ache and heart break. It has seen death visit family and friends in the most devastating forms imaginable. It has taken from me children I will never hold on earth. It has taken the love of my life and turned it into a nightmare I could never have imagined. I have watched as people I called my friends spew harsh and ugly lies and innuendoes about me. I have witnessed the destruction of a family that I was once a part of with no real attempt made to salvage it. I have experienced the most ungodly acts from the most Godly people. The one thing I did not count on was that there would be a rescue made with such precision, that it would bring me to my knees and cause me to rejoice for all the pain that had come my way!
I enjoy the privilege of being a mother and a grandmother. God has always had a plan for me. Whether it was to be a single mother, a hard-working secretary, a friend, a bride, a wife, a police dispatcher, a funeral director, a writer or anything else I have accomplished in my life...it was HIS plan that has shaped me and molded me into who I have become. I am blessed beyond what I deserve.
Today, Mother's Day, is bitter sweet for me in many ways. Today I will miss my own mother and recall that this was the last holiday I spent with her. Today I will get to spend this day with family: my children, daughter-in-law and her family (who have been a part of my life for over 17 years - I’ve known them since they were very young - one even before he was born). The next generation (the grandchildren) will be there as well - they grow so fast!
This month also marks an anniversary. Six years ago I sat in a court room and watched as a judge terminated a vow taken almost twenty years earlier. A vow to love, to honor, to cherish, to care for...a vow that was not taken in haste and a vow I thought could withstand anything.
I praise God today that I do not fall under the law, but under grace. I praise God today that I am forgiven for any real or imagined transgressions I may or may not have committed. I praise God today that I have wonderful, beautiful and God-fearing people in my life who never cease to make me smile, or laugh when I want to cry. I praise God for the four beautiful children he has entrusted to me (and although some will tell you that my ex raised three beautiful daughters - they did not live in an empty house when we were married, they did not see nor will they ever know the true story of this mother's heart). I praise God for it all!
