~ "that was the sound of my integrity walking out the door..."

May integrity and uprightness protect me, because my hope is in you. (Ps 25:21)

"Keep me safe from myself, Lord" is the prayer of the day. Sometimes our biggest obstacle is ourselves. We have that want and that need to be part of something bigger and better, and we head out in search of it without consulting God first. He may have something else for us, but we are so caught up in what we want and think we need that we don't even bother to pray about it. Our world revolves around our own happiness (whether we want to admit it or not). There's a saying that "if mom's not happy, no one is" that hangs in a friend's kitchen. We could all apply that to our immediate needs. When we want something and don't get it, we tell others we are just "disappointed". I'm continually disappointed - in myself! I strive to be a good woman, a good mother, a good friend but mostly a good Christian. Some days are harder than other. Somedays I can't see beyond the end of my kitchen table.

But God gives us the opportunity to be his in all we do. He tells us that we belong and that all our suffering is not in vain. He will reward us in his time. If we let go of our integrity and give in to what is of the world, we will fail, and fall and become bruised and battered, not to mention, we'll be miserable. Summoning the courage to be strong in his word is not always easy. Sometimes it takes every ounce of our emotional stability to get through it. But in the end, when we have successfully completed our task, we can breathe a sigh of relief and know that we are still walking in his will.

Until that time comes, continue to pray, continue to be his in all you do! He knows how hard it is, Jesus reminds him! The trappings of the earthly world will eventually fall away and all that will be left is you and God. Better to be disappointed now, for a short while, then miserable for all eternity.

~ "another fine mess you've gotten us into!!!"

The salvation of the righteous comes from the LORD; he is their stronghold in time of trouble. The LORD helps them and delivers them; he delivers them from the wicked and saves them, because they take refuge in him. (Ps 37:39-40)

Right now I'm waiting on the Lord to deliver me from myself. We all do things that we probably shouldn't and get ourselves into a fix. But what about what we've yet to do? What about when we know the train is coming and can't get off the tracks?

I received a visit last night from my pastor. I haven't been in church for a few weeks and he was concerned. I shared with him what's been going on in my life over the past month and he reassured me that God would not abandon me. He reminded me that what I've given up to follow him will be replaced ten-fold in heaven. I am not alone!

When we get into situations and we feel the Lord has failed us, we become targets for Satan (not that we aren't targets when we're still walking the right path). Our hearts are hurting and we need comfort and it's not coming from where we need it to come. Satan sends his angels and in some instances, makes a personal appearance, in an attempt to destroy all that you have become. He twists and he turns us in such a way that we don't even realize he's doing it! Eventually we see exactly what's going on and have absolutely no idea how to undo what's been done! Now what?

Again, God knows our weaknesses too! He knows our strengths! Our faith is what will see us through (that, and perhaps a good dose of honesty and self-awareness). And what if we can't find the strength ~ I know that God will find it! He's moved in my life too many times for me to just walk away and doubt him. He's given me gifts I'd never have had if I'd stayed just an "acquaintance". So, in silence I sit and wait on his answer. Waiting up until the very last moment to be rescued is hard on the heart, but he did not send his son to die for me so that I could be left at the curb with the trash. His love will prevail!

Whatever personal battle you are fighting right now, know that God will be there, like the cavalry, to protect you, and just in the nick of time! He tends to protect his possessions better than some of us do. Ask him to remove the temptation of the flesh and replace it with the joy of the spirit! The heart knows and understands true joy! It's what comes when you know a prayer has been answered!

(photo by Celia Darrigo)