Blessings are upon the head of the just: but violence covereth the mouth of the wicked. (Prov 10:6)
If you are like me, you probably look around sometimes and wonder why you are chosen to accept hardship. I mean, I know the reason (because it's God's will) , but there are days when I cry out to heaven and say "enough - I can't take any more pain!" Jealousy begins to crawl up my spine and I tell God that I am faithful, my life reflects change, my desires are to be of service to Him in whatever setting He places me, yet I cannot help but wonder why so many who do not, are apparently living a better, more comfortable existence that I am. Their focus is not on Him, their "gods" are everything but Him, yet they prosper and smile and continue to be comfortable in their mansions, while I sob myself to sleep each night.
I tell myself all the things I need to be reminded of - that it is not an easy road to be of service to the Lord, that His blessings will come and that they will be greater than I could have ever imagined, that this life will end and that pain will end with it - that my name is written in the book of life and that I will sit at His feet and worship Him for all eternity. It's very hard to see the promise through the tears.
Laura Story's song, "Blessings" just keeps resonating in my mind. Our blessings most generally do come as a result of tears, our healing through pain. We acknowledge that the greatest members of that "inner circle" have endured the most suffering! Yet, in all of that, we can still ask and pray for relief from the burden, only, once again, to acknowledge that "His will" not ours, be carried out. It would be a pleasant experience to have His will and mine be one in the same, but that generally does not happen. So I will go where He sends me.
Remind yourself that life is not always what we expect, that changes occur to strengthen us and that God will not give us more than we can bear (although, sometimes I think He pushes us to the very brink of despair). The trials and torments of this life do remind us that we are foreigners in this place - this is not our home - we will be lifted up into His majesty and presences and all will be right! So when your chest is heavy, when your sobs are long and the tears have no end - know that He is right there with you, waiting to bless you when you accept the road He's chosen for you.
