Let us hold fast the profession of our faith without wavering; (for he is faithful that promised;) (Heb 10:23)
Let me just say this: God is awesome!!! The changes in my life as a result of his love for me are overwhelming at times! Each day, I learn something new and each day I received yet another blessing. I don't see the changes until I look back at how I handled certain situations in my past. The only word that comes to mind is "wow"!!! I love hearing the Word of God delivered by my pastor! I love the feeling I get when I enter the sanctuary of the church I worship in! The thought of leaving that behind makes me sad.
What I have today will all be gone. It's just a matter of time. I understand that and I accept that. It is inevitable. It is part of God's plan. Once again I will start from scratch to build a home and make friends. It will be me and the dogs in a new environment. Although the surroundings will be familiar, most everything else will be foreign. The one thing that will not change, the one thing I will take with me ~ my faith in God and his promise to me! I asked the question last night "If I'm accepting of this plan God has for me, unwavering in my faith, why can't it just happen ~ what more is it that I have to learn here? What else does he want to show me before I leave?" Well, I got that answer this morning.
We build relationships with people based commonalities: on similar likes, similar habits, job opportunities and physical surroundings. One of my worst habits is burning bridges. It's always been easier for me to be angry and dissolve a relationship than it is to say "I will miss you". While some of the bridges I've burned were definitely deserving of destruction, some were not. Apparently, I need to learn how to say "good-bye" with tears. I guess sometimes it can be easier to hate someone than it is to realize you love them and miss them. Blaming the other person for all your hurts and your problems relieves you of the burden placed on you as a Christian ~ which is to LOVE! In this situation, there are many I could "blame" for my material losses. I've stopped blaming and accepted that these things had to happen because God has a plan! The words "if only" are slowly being removed from my vocabulary and replaced with "thank you, Lord".
It's not fun to be on the outside looking in. Wanting to be a part of something and being denied for what ever reason can bring on a heavy heart, but with perseverance and faith, anything is possible! Allow God to make the changes in you that need to be made. He's granted your request, he's answered your prayer, now let him mold you into the person he needs you to be for the furtherance of his Word! Know that it's okay to say good-bye and keep the good memories without hiding them under the bad. The only perfect relationship you will ever have is one-sided...the only perfect love, the only perfect promise, the only perfect gift, the only perfect being - is God!
